The Cheeseburger Diaries, part 2

In the second installment of my relentless search for Canberra's finest cheeseburger, I find myself trying out the cheeseburger at Smoque in the City - Canberra's supposed premier American-style bar-restaurant thing specialising in American food such as burgers and American BBQ. The cheeseburger is without doubt as American as over-priced cruisers and diabetes, so I figure that a place like Smoque would really bust out a killer cheeseburger.

The day started at the Weston Creek Caltex with Stephen and Kev, and their much faster bikes. Apparently there is a shortcut from Weston to the City via Mt Mac, Uriarra, and Coppins Crossing and by all reports it certainly is a delightful stretch, although extra props to Kev on his 140hp GSXR for having the patience to wait every now and again for my 27hp tyre shredding monster. I'm pretty sure he spent so much time waiting for me he had the time to pen a tersely worded letter to Royal Enfield telling them to make some faster bikes so he can get burgers faster. I agree strongly with this.

We eventually arrived at Smoque, and all three of us ordered their cheeseburger, but I also got me a side of their "hand cut" chips, and a schooner of watery American beer (when in Rome) which all came out to about $27. After a reasonable amount of time I was greeted with this:


Terrible photography from a $90 smartphone held my someone who's an idiot aside, this still isnt immediately the prettiest burger, but I'm not one to judge books by covers and thankfully neither is Mrs Snab. The burger was probably about 4 inches in diameter, and on it was ketchup, mustard, a patty, a slice of cheese (apparently), a slice of pickle, lettuce, tomato, and mayonnaise. The burger was accompanied by a delicious and welcome sweet pickle.

The bun was good, and held together well, and the salad and pickles were nice and fresh. However, the burger had some problems which let it down. First and foremost was the size of the patty compared to the bun - if you think of the bun as a 20 cent piece, the patty itself would be a five cent piece sitting on top of it. While the patty itself was tasty, it could have been larger. On top of this was a barely-noticeable piece of cheese which could do with a bit more zing. Finally, the ketchup, mustard, and mayonnaise tasted like they were pretty basic and could be better.

If the burger had a decent sized patty topped with a more bold cheese, and finished with a more unique ketchup and mustard, this burger would be great. However, this is all a bit disappointing given that Smoque - at least in theory - should be adept in making the grand American icon that is a basic cheeseburger.

While this is a cheeseburger review, I really have a problem with their chips, advertised as "hand cut fries". Why is a chip being hand cut better than a chip cut by a machine? It strikes me as the sort of chore that is better done by a robot that can cut consistent and even chips quickly and efficiently, and it certainly isnt the sort of thing done by someone with competence. I mean, if the only thing you could do well was cut chips, it wouldnt be something to boast about would it? And it certainly isnt something worth paying more for, especially as the chips just looked like they'd been made by someone blindly hacking at a potato with a blunt machete.

A professional chip cutter​

All in all, though, this is a pretty disappointing burger. I could probably rant for longer, but it's probably best to say to anyone considering the Smoque cheeseburger that you should save your money and get a cheaper disappointing burger from Hungry Jacks.

 

This burger will not form part of the CR cheeseburger crawl.

 

Will the chip cutter make a Cameo?

 

Great review and an entertaining read! So where to next? I know Brodburgers do awesome, well, burgers, but don't think that they do a cheeseburger per se. Perhaps a suggested addition to their menu?

 

Brodburger do

2 x ½ pound beef patties flame grilled
each topped with your choice of cheese,
Pickles, thinly sliced onions and American
mustard tomato sauce and relish.

Does this count as a Cheeseburger ?

 

Are you going to rate these burgers out of 10, Or some sort of ranking or just talk

Sent from my ST27i using Tapatalk

 

I'd hazard a guess and say, yes - it does! You know, I reckon this could be turned into a TV show, but expand it into a nationwide search for the beset cheese burger!

 

I'd say it's more an avenue to just talk about cheese burgers...I guess it is a little like art, in the eyes of the beholder. I think it's very Zen...

 

I'm in two minds about a ranking system. Can you measure art and beauty!? Its especially hard as I've only tried two burgers in this quest so far, so I havent really established a baseline. Maybe on the CR cheeseburger crawl we can all vote together on every burger to determine the winner.

Brod certainly do a basic cheeseburger for $12.50, which in the interest of fairness I'll have to have that one over the delicious looking double.

 

I can't wait for the Chiko Roll thread

 

I've tried more burgers in this town than I care to remember. I can tell you that most of them were over-priced garbage. The notable exceptions were the Durham in Kingston ($10 lunchtime burgers on weekdays, and $10 on Wednesday nights), Brodburger, and Burger Hero in Braddon.

 

Smoque is all about the lamb ribs. That is, if they haven't "run out" of them as I was told. They had also "run out" of cheese burgers??? Wtf??? Smoque gets two thumbs down from me now. The takeaway at the red hill shops used to do a great cheeseburger. Not sure if they are still around though.

 

In keeping with the bikes and burgers theme, why not rank the burgers according the the GP riders they most represent.

Disappointing = a Rossi
Looked good but fell on the floor before you got a good taste = a Crutchlow
Spicy, but left skid marks = a Marquez
It had Beetroot in it = a Jack Millar

 

And I find the city store better than Woden too!

 

The wings at the Woden one are the reason I won't go to Smoque any more. Ordered some wings, what came out made my eyes hurt when it got put on the table. So much vinegar. Heat wasn't that hot, but the vinegar made them inedible. Left most of them on the plate and left them.

 

just had "Buffalo" Wings at Bolt Bar, Aranda. Tasty but all the hot was in the sauce on the side.

 

Thats heresy!

 

Don't think it's there yet, but it is fast turning into a "Wings" thread, and I'm not talking about the Paul McCartney kind.

 

I noticed there is some place called Beef and Barley at Kingston Foreshore that supposedly specialise in burgers and beer.