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The Cheeseburger Diaries, Part 4

Discussion in 'General Stuff' started by Snab, May 22, 2016.

  1. Snab

    Snab Member

    Jun 11, 2010
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    Real Name:
    Aloysius T Dudefella
    1976 Kawasaki Z650
    After selling the Enfield, there was an awful gap in time where I couldn't go get a cheeseburger due to electrical gremlins (both real and non-existant) plaguing my z650. This all changed about ten days ago, when I finally squished them all and my shitty multimeter, and my z650 was ready to take me on its very first cheeseburger adventure.

    This time I was accompanied by Simon Clutchkiller, Mike, and Steve the Fisherman. As per usual, we met up at the Weston Servo and made a bee-line for Beef and Barley at the new and tragically trendy Kingston Foreshore. Just to make things interesting, though, we took a shortcut through Mt Mac where the resident Yowies appreciated the potato-potato of the exhaust of Mike's Harley, and the swarm of angry wasps coming out the end of my exhaust pipe. There was no other sound there because Simon and Steve are massive jessies who still run stock exhausts. Boo-urns. Everyone knows that the Yowies of Mt Mac love aftermarket exhausts.

    I digress.

    We eventually got into Kingston Foreshore - I've never actually been there before, and the whole place is really strange. Kind of like an artificial reclaimed industrial dock precinct in Newcastle that's been gentrified by corrupt developers.

    Beef and Barley is pretty easy to find there on Eyre St, but there's no room to park your bikes out the front and look like totally fucking awesome bikers. I mean seriously guys, we had to park like 50 meters away amongst the cars - ewww. But hell, what do I care, because its turns out that this place makes a ripper cheeseburger. Well, sort of. They don't actually offer a cheeseburger, but the closest thing on their menu was the "Uncle Sam" burger, consisting of beef, cheese, bacon, onion, pickle, and sauce. About ten minutes after ordering, Uncle Sam arrived, and it looked a little something like this:


    Now first of all, I can't figure out how to rotate the picture above despite the actual image being oriented properly, so tough titties.

    The burger was, simply put, sensational. The patty was perfect, juicy without being greasy, it had a a delicious beefy flavour, and the texture... oh god the texture. It was just fantastic. Atop the patty was a slice of mild cheese which had a distinct presence without overwhelming anything else. The bacon was at that perfect cusp between cooked and crispy. The only thing that really let the burger down was not enough pickles, and no onion. I also don't recall any mustard, which is a essential in a cheeseburger.

    The burger was served with sweet coleslaw, which was fine I suppose, and literal beer battered chips. Like, the chips had literally been dipped in the batter you'd dip your flathead in and deepfried. The end result was less "chips" and more a mass of battered potato with a paprika seasoning- they reminded me of tempura potato you get as a side at Sizzle Bento or something. Sure, they were pretty tasty, but as far as chips go, they were pretty odd. If I were them, I'd lose the batter and just cook the chips properly and use the seasoning.

    All in all, I give this burger a good 4 out of 5 stars. Definitely recommended. If they fixed the pickle and onion issue, and put a squirt of American mustard on it, I'd be giving it a 4.5 stars.

    Also, Beef and Barley, make room for bikes out the front ya bastards.

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    Last edited: May 22, 2016
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